President Gerald Ford, in 1975, pardons another turkey. |
This year the White House Blog also provided its own brief on the history of Presidential Turkey Pardons.
But crafty readers may wonder what these innocent-looking turkeys may have done to need a pardon in the first place. For the answer to this question, they may wish to turn to Crime in the United States, an annual publication from the Federal Bureau of Investigation's Uniform Crime Reporting Program that organizes crime statistics into several (un)appetizing categories such as Property Crimes, Homicides, and even by number of persons arrested. There is sadly no compilation of statistics specifically for crimes committed during a Walmart Black Friday sale. But perhaps soon.
More hard-hitting statistics are available through the Department of Agriculture, such as this year 2000 report, ominously titled "Structural Change in U.S. Chicken and Turkey Slaughter," in which we learn of America's insatiable appetite for bird meat.
Chilling. Like unheated cranberry-sauce chilling. But still no definitive numbers exist for crimes committed by turkeys, or how the crimes of pardoned turkeys might break down by category. Nevertheless, the archives of the Annual Pardoning ceremonies and the FBI's Crime in the United States publication are just two of the many kinds of Government Documents available on the issues that matter to YOU.
Also, the government prints cookbooks. An anti-bird conspiracy if there ever was one.
More hard-hitting statistics are available through the Department of Agriculture, such as this year 2000 report, ominously titled "Structural Change in U.S. Chicken and Turkey Slaughter," in which we learn of America's insatiable appetite for bird meat.
Chilling. Like unheated cranberry-sauce chilling. But still no definitive numbers exist for crimes committed by turkeys, or how the crimes of pardoned turkeys might break down by category. Nevertheless, the archives of the Annual Pardoning ceremonies and the FBI's Crime in the United States publication are just two of the many kinds of Government Documents available on the issues that matter to YOU.
Also, the government prints cookbooks. An anti-bird conspiracy if there ever was one.